Full moon

I like to consider myself a writer of the old school. So, late tonight, as I sat in my rural log cabin, isolated from all civilisation, I looked up from the keys of my typewriter where I was writing this very blog post (which was, at the time, a diatribe about the value of weasels) to see the full moon hanging ominously in the sky in front of me. (Sadly, beneath the moonlight I didn't see a sight that almost stopped my heart. Looks like Michael Jackson's dead for good.)

My Blogging Cabin. Also, my typewriter has microsoft paint.

I know what you're thinking, and, yes, my typewriter can upload to the internet, actually. I installed the whole internet onto it. With a floppy disk. Also, you're probably thinking "Full moon! Why does it matter if it's full moon? Assuming you're not some kind of hippie/pagan who's planning on pulling the whole 'naked cavorting druids' thing around stonehenge, Full Moon shouldn't matter unless you're the variety of twilight fangirl who thinks Bella should have chosen bestiality, not necrophilia!" (and, trust me, dear Internet, I'm not either of those things.)

But full moon is important, and not just because it tends to make children hyper. (My mother, who is a teacher, frequently tells me so: I think she possibly teaches at some twisted version of Hogwarts for mutant wolf children.) It's because every time we look up at the full moon, we remember a tiny bit of that cavorting druid past - it's been such a central aspect in so many myths and legends that we can't help just feeling a little bit like thanking our distant Gods of the hunt when we see it...

... That, or, if you're my mother, an urge to eat raw steak and chase anything that moves quickly. Should I be worried?

The Differently Alive

What is it about the undead?

Don't get me wrong, I love a good zombie as much as the rest of the internet.

This is an example of how not to love the undead

In fact, I take the business of zombies so very seriously that I recently genuinely sent this email to the British Ministry of Defence:

Dear Sir,

Of the many threats facing homeland security, it seems evident to me that by far the greatest, if perhaps not the most probable, is that posed of the reanimated dead: I refer, of course, to the "zombie apocalypse" as popular culture has dubbed it.

In the (admittedly unlikely) event of the rising of the dead, has the army got a contingency plan to protect the citizens of this nation from shambling, necrotic warriors? Since such an adversary is incapable of thought - and thus espionage or any form of tactical planning is beyond them - I feel fully justified in requesting information on your plans for this eventuality under the Freedom of Information Act (2000) so that civilians of the United Kingdom might better prepare themselves for the eventuality of serious, large scale undead attack.

Yours Sincerely,

etc. etc. For some reason, they haven't replied yet.

But, anyway, what is it about zombies exactly? Why, in the last few years, have so many of us become quite so attracted to the idea of a zombie apocalypse? It's not as if it would, in reality, be very much fun, especially for those outside countries with lots of firearms. Starving to death inside your barricaded building because you don't have enough food and are surrounded by rotting, walking corpses doesn't sound like much of a way to spend my weekend.

I think the danger is that zombies are becoming too popular. Pretty soon, if we aren't careful, they're going to hit The Twilight Point, and be remarketed in an attempt to be edgy and appeal to twelve year old girls...

And no one wants that.

Oh, finally, on the note of zombies: this is awesome.