Friday, 16 July 2010

All Hail Her Majesty

It's already been discussed on this blog that the Queen is hungry for the restoration of the monarchy. I'm not fooled by her sweet old lady act: she's after power on a global scale, and a new beginning for the British Empire. Take her recent trip to Canada, for instance. A perfectly innocuous diplomatic visit? This photo, no doubt taken at great personal risk, tells another story.

Pictured: Lizzie's War Face

See the determined glint in her eye? The set of her jaw? Clearly this is a woman channelling the spirit of her ancestors, ie big hairy German men who became King because they were damn good at hitting people with swords. That mountie in the background? Her rebel army commander, ready to sweep back through Canada and reclaim it as the maple syrup source of the British Empire.

Why mounties? Mounties, despite the silly hats, are rather special. They have international jurisdiction: if a well known and famous example of a Candian celebrity commits a crime, (sorry, Canada, the only famous son of your land I can think of is the unfortunately fictional Wolverine,) there is nowhere on the planet they can hide - the mounties will get them. So with these powerful allies, the Queen can arrest those who threaten the spread or stability of her new international regime.

It started in Canada. Be prepared. Be warned. The second British Empire is coming.

And Philip's going to be racist about all of them.