Adventure on the High Sea with Marcor Paul

So, the other day, my mother went for a drink with a sailor on shore leave.

I know how that sounds. Perhaps I should present it in a way slightly more accurate to the real world. So, the other day, my mother went for a drink with an old teaching colleague who now works on a cruise ship. Better?

So, anyway, this old colleague had a new man in her life. Apparently, he was quite dashing, it looked to be a fairly serious relationship, and my mother couldn't remember the name, saying it was something like "Mark, or Paul." They met on the cruise ship, but now he's on another boat and they don't see each other much.

Imagine how this sounded to my ears. Marcor Paul, adventurer, travelling the high seas, searching for hidden treasure and pining for his lost love. As he fights through Amazon pyramids, he probably turns down the love of steaming native beauties, remembering his love who sailed away from him.

But my mother wasn't done. Oh no. She recounted some of the other news of her seafaring friend, before moving to talk about their future plans. The woman plans, it seems, to move near Glasgow, partly to be nearer her parents, and partly because that's where Marcor Paul, Dread Pirate lives on shore. He's Scottish too? The badass points just keep rolling in. And, naturally, Marcor will spend much more time on shore when he's training for his captaincy exams...

His captaincy exams.

"The name's Marcor Paul. Captain Marcor Paul."

There is no way this man is not a pirate. There is no way that Marcor Paul does not fight off redcoats, loot, pillage, and woo beautiful native princesses (such as my mother's friend?) His name is Marcor Paul. What other career options can he have? When Mr and Mrs Paul had a bouncing baby boy, and named him Marcor, did they for one minute imagine that with that name he could live a boring life? You can't be Marcor Paul, plumber, or Marcor Paul, solicitor - it has to be Marcor Paul, secret agent, or Marcor Paul, The Chosen One.

Hell, at least I know what I'm going to name my son.

And, before you ask, his middle name will be Batman.