Friday, 16 April 2010

The Differently Alive

What is it about the undead?

Don't get me wrong, I love a good zombie as much as the rest of the internet.

This is an example of how not to love the undead

In fact, I take the business of zombies so very seriously that I recently genuinely sent this email to the British Ministry of Defence:

Dear Sir,

Of the many threats facing homeland security, it seems evident to me that by far the greatest, if perhaps not the most probable, is that posed of the reanimated dead: I refer, of course, to the "zombie apocalypse" as popular culture has dubbed it.

In the (admittedly unlikely) event of the rising of the dead, has the army got a contingency plan to protect the citizens of this nation from shambling, necrotic warriors? Since such an adversary is incapable of thought - and thus espionage or any form of tactical planning is beyond them - I feel fully justified in requesting information on your plans for this eventuality under the Freedom of Information Act (2000) so that civilians of the United Kingdom might better prepare themselves for the eventuality of serious, large scale undead attack.

Yours Sincerely,

etc. etc. For some reason, they haven't replied yet.

But, anyway, what is it about zombies exactly? Why, in the last few years, have so many of us become quite so attracted to the idea of a zombie apocalypse? It's not as if it would, in reality, be very much fun, especially for those outside countries with lots of firearms. Starving to death inside your barricaded building because you don't have enough food and are surrounded by rotting, walking corpses doesn't sound like much of a way to spend my weekend.

I think the danger is that zombies are becoming too popular. Pretty soon, if we aren't careful, they're going to hit The Twilight Point, and be remarketed in an attempt to be edgy and appeal to twelve year old girls...

And no one wants that.

Oh, finally, on the note of zombies: this is awesome.

No comments:

Post a Comment